30 Tuesday Sep 2014
Posted in Poetry
The water sparkled brighter than diamonds,
and I was hanging on your every movement,
your back arched & smiling as you splashed in the ocean,
both careless & carefree at the same time.
I, ever the fool, could not stop checking the time,
knowing too well that things end too quickly,
especially perfect days like this.
Today is fleeting fast as summer,
and all too soon you will leave me for good.
04 Thursday Sep 2014
Posted in OrangeSeries, Poetry
Tags
Day by day it slips away,
All the things I wanted to say
To express my truth or just to shock you…
I forget even what I had intended to do.
I feel less day by day
As the memories of you fade away.
That bright, poignant, unanswered call
Matters much, then less, then not at all…
The glowing embers etched orange in my head
have faded to grey from once brilliant red.
Yet I wonder still what burns in you,
What traces of myself I have left behind
in glory,
Like sunspots that refuse to fade
& hurt your eyes as you curse them.
Oh, the unanswered banter!
Having foregone the folly of the volley
Of our misspent delusions,
We forge on naked into some new realm
Where we will either refuse to be tormented by ourselves,
or cease to change at all.
Who knows what could happen if you should reappear,
A stunning apparition that I conjured late at night.
But you couldn’t feign that same spark,
No matter how hard I tried.
I wish you would have lied, my dear,
I wish you would have lied.
© LRHMJ
25 Monday Aug 2014
Posted in Poetry
31 Thursday Jul 2014
Posted in OrangeSeries, Poetry
Tags
Drinking, Lust, NeverNeverLand, OrangeSeries, Poe, Poetry, Raven, S&M, Safewords
My desire for intimacy
Trumps your need to feel safe.
But please don’t pin me down
as this or that or another way.
I don’t wish to hurt you
Beyond what you can handle,
but don’t shy away from the flame
When you yourself lit the candle.
Let’s try to be Grown-Ups here,
but in the suburbs of Never Never Land.
And please don’t look at me
as if I have some Master Plan.
I can’t help it if my heart’s on my sleeve,
My boobs are out of my shirt,
& I’m crawling out of my skin.
You put me in my place again & again & again.
I covet your Regard, your Affection,
My Curse.
Having or going without –
I’m not sure which is worse.
Intoxicated and elated,
then shredded like an Orange peel:
It’s a sad state of affairs
to feel the way that I feel.
I only want the Bitter Pill,
the Agony,
the Rope, the Whip…
and I want you to give me it.
I only want you to say my name
like the Raven quoth “Lenore.”
I only want to cause you a little pain,
& I want you to want a little more.
I only want the Whole Wide World
that the Raven carried in His mouth,
and then I want you to wonder
if I’ll swallow it or spit it out.
There is no balm for self-inflicted wounds,
So Lord! What I would do to you!
To make you feel the pain I feel,
then convince myself it isn’t real.
I only want it all,
Starting with you, now.
But I’ll settle for a drink,
and a little time to think.
God knows I am asking too much.
-LRHMJ
15 Tuesday Jul 2014
Posted in OrangeSeries, Poetry
Tags
Drinking, family, Fireworks, Holidays, Midsummer Night's Dream, NeverNeverLand, OrangeSeries, Parties
I felt calm and centered, yet wild and free,
More like myself, but less like me.
Scratch the surface, make it bleed,
What you want & what I need.
Light the fuse, make it rain,
Take some pleasure with your pain.
Life, liberty, happiness, a song,
Trying to be right but it feels so wrong.
Was this the American dream all along?
We’re tangled, star-spangled, and the band plays on.
So shake the decks, get wrecked, and fuck the consequence,
Party, don’t say sorry, and spend some Presidents.
Ride off into the sunset like you own the place (you do),
Get burned, never learn,
See you when I see you,
Has anyone seen my fucking bathing suit?
Break shit, make a mess,
Pack it up, feel less.
You need some medicine to keep singing.
I’ll be fine, once I get it.
Yeah, I’ll be good.
I have Hope; I won’t forget it.
I’ll try to be good.
Heaven ain’t close, it’s here.
God help me, I want it all, starting with a beer.
Choke it down, live it up.
Gimmie a hit, lemmie get my head right.
Me & the Lost Boys are here to play,
And though it feels like we’re a million miles away,
We can put the pieces back together our way.
Keep living like the next day will never come,
As long as when it does you’re up to greet the sun,
No qualms, no regrets, ready to climb higher.
I’m sure by tomorrow they’ll be another fire,
Maybe even a grenade with all the wicked games that we all played.
Take a spin and throw the hammer,
Take a swig, then more witty banter,
Fuck that noise, it’s getting later.
The bombs are bursting in my brain, my heart, my skin.
How did we get here again?
All I want as the last sparkler fades,
Is for you to remember my name.
As the mortar goes off, it leaves sunspots,
Bright orange glory when I close my eyes –
All I see is orange.
Loyal to a dream, a cause, a curse, a disbelief,
No room for sadness and no room for grief.
No time for goodbyes because we burn the candle at both ends,
And certainly no time to make Amends.
I’m no Puck, but shucks y’all it’s been fun!
And I’ll see you next time under the Midnight Sun.
-LRHMJ
17 Monday Jun 2013
Posted in Poetry
30 Tuesday Apr 2013
Posted in Poetry
He said that it smelled like an airplane;
Like jet fuel and stale, forced air,
And something else intangible.
Maybe it was excitement,
Or anxiety,
Or something else entirely.
An escape.
I closed my eyes,
Let the sun from the moon-roof wash over my face,
Pictured I was on an airplane –
My favorite place –
Taking me somewhere, anywhere.
A place of new beginnings,
New friends,
New possibilities.
An escape.
When I woke from my reverie,
I was grounded back in the car with him,
Driving aimlessly to a destination,
As per usual.
But the scent still lingered,
And it took me away.
An escape.
-LRHMJ
24 Wednesday Apr 2013
Posted in Poetry
Rosy
As I stand before a grave of used tea bags,
The empty honey jar their tomb,
I am sad that I will have to open another,
My very last jar of the liquid gold.
I always think of my family when I drink tea;
I was raised on the stuff, after all.
I picture my dad with the bees
(He always has the suit and veil on in my mind).
My mom, my Winter Rose,
Used it as a balm against all ailments.
Tea was good for harsh Alaskan winters,
For colds,
For broken hearts and disappointments,
Even for cancer.
If tea did all it should, she would live forever.
When you are out of honey though;
The day the tea does nothing to soothe you –
Not a sore throat, or restless soul, or grief,
Then you know you are fucked.
-LRHMJ
11 Thursday Apr 2013
Posted in Poetry
Ascent to Nothing
or
Ode to the Little Piece of My Soul that Left My Body
When Someone Wronged Me More Than They Will Ever Know
The dying embers of lost, forgotten things
Float past my grasp on pretty, waxen wings.
They linger around my periphery,
Specters that will forever haunt me.
As I struggle and I grope for what lies
just beyond my comprehension,
I am too focused on the ground
to be aware of my ascension.
There is no pre-flight safety demonstration for this trip,
So I just strap myself in and I try to get a grip
and get a grasp of all of the forces at play;
To at least not be mad at circumstances that got me here today.
I am fighting with feelings that I will never understand.
I look down, and far below me I see a speck of land.
I resolve to stop chasing these ghosts of regret —
That would only give credence to wrongs not born yet.
Though I let you slip away to save myself,
Know that I will always mourn your loss,
That I will honor your memory,
No matter what the cost.
I know when you come back to me,
It will be in some other iteration,
and until that day arrives I must try to be patient.
I love flying, but I love the feeling of falling more.
I can never sleep at this altitude.
-LRHMJ
08 Monday Apr 2013
Posted in Poetry
Bodies bowing to a cosmic force;
Fingers, exploring, plot a course.
Lips, parting, are anxious to taste,
And not a drop must go to waste.
Bodies now moving in perfect time;
No need for words or pantomime.
Seeming to read each other’s mind,
We note preferences and respond in kind.
A smile flashes on carnadined cheeks
As the poor mattress groans and creaks.
Everything is a new but familiar sensation,
Edging us further to the brink of elation.
This is the urge that won’t be denied,
That lies just beneath the surface inside,
From which no man or beast can ever hide,
Although I doubt that many have tried.
-LRHMJ
Laura the Lioness 